Literature and Wordplay

A doctoral candidate's collection of the Internet's nerdiest examination of short stories, poems, puns, and even litotes...Look it up. No judgment for how corny, high-brow, or low-brow the content: this is the Tumblr for analyzing the English language in all forms.

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Shakespeare adapts Battleship…the movie, not the game

Courtesy of Timothy McSweeney,William Shakespeare’s Battleship:

CAPTAIN
Friends! Gaffers! Hang’rs-on!
‘Tis I, thy totally American captain,
Proud son of one of those states in the middle
That definitely hath a name, although
I cannot recall it at the moment.

SAILOR
Forsooth Captain, canst thou at least name the
First letter o’ the state?

The CAPTAIN shakes his head.

CAPTAIN
Alas, I cannot.

The CREW grumbles in disappointment.

Read more here. 

…Sad that I would rather see this version of Battleship, even more than this mock-buster from The Asylum. 

SOURCE:  Neatorama

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kat8cha: fluffmugger: demoncolbert: theidledrifter: jane-b-nimbel: thesanityclause: youngmanandoldsoul: “Killed 99 bears” a fact that if actually accomplished, should be put on a tombstone. My favorite part is “We hope he has gone to rest.” What, like… they weren’t sure? Maybe, if ever the bear uprising should start again, he would rise from the ground to finish what he started and slay that 100th bear?Was this man so powerful they are concerned he might not have decided to rest at all and is simply biding his time? The bears made that tombstone. A warning, and a prayer. That he really, truely stays down. This is too badass not to reblog. hes got 99 problems but a bear aint one Actually, considering he stopped just shy of an even hundred bears…..I’d say the last one bear probably was the problem. That’s because the 100th bear was the boss. Boss fights will forever be a bear fighter’s doom. Huh. Something to add to my dissertation.

kat8cha:

fluffmugger:

demoncolbert:

theidledrifter:

jane-b-nimbel:

thesanityclause:

youngmanandoldsoul:

“Killed 99 bears”

a fact that if actually accomplished, should be put on a tombstone.

My favorite part is “We hope he has gone to rest.” What, like… they weren’t sure? Maybe, if ever the bear uprising should start again, he would rise from the ground to finish what he started and slay that 100th bear?

Was this man so powerful they are concerned he might not have decided to rest at all and is simply biding his time?

The bears made that tombstone.

A warning, and a prayer.

That he really, truely stays down.

This is too badass not to reblog.

hes got 99 problems but a bear aint one

Actually, considering he stopped just shy of an even hundred bears…..I’d say the last one bear probably was the problem.

That’s because the 100th bear was the boss. Boss fights will forever be a bear fighter’s doom.

Huh. Something to add to my dissertation.

(via fyeahlilbitoeverything)